Interview Time With...

It's Interview Time with... our very own, Penelope! We gathered round to ask her some pressing questions and were surprised by some of her responses. Check them out to get to know our advice columnist better! Who will be featured next on Interview Time With...?

 

1. What is your favorite flavor Skittle? What is your opinion of the switch from lime to green apple?

"I prefer Starburst. Or steak. However, I do occasionally indulge in a pack of red original Skittles. Who can say their palate is not refreshed by the taste of the rainbow™? When I do, I consciously choose strawberry. In my opinion, the discontinuation of lime in for the introduction of green apple is no less than blasphemy. This affront of a flavor, this carpet-bagger what dares to call itself a suitable replacement, is the recast Dumbledore of the candy world. I’ve scoured for hours on end in search of surviving bags of the discontinued candy from the golden age. Until then, I provide a silent, peaceful protest by refusing to allow my tongue to ever contact the sacrilegious green coating which Mars Inc. thought would be unnoticed and ignored by what they could have only assumed would be mindless consumers. Well, Mars, Inc. We are not mindless. We lime lovers hold true to our roots and demand for the retribution of the second best flavor of Skittle, behind strawberry, of course."

 

2. What do you think you were in a past life?

"Jabberwocky. HA! get it? Tell me if you do."

 

3. What are the best lyrics ever written?

"“And all the roads we have to walk are winding/ and all the lights that lead us there are blinding/ there are many things that I/ would like to say to you but I don’t know how” (“Wonderwall” by Oasis)."

 

4. Would you rather spend a night in the cemetery or spend a night in the attic of Lane?

"I recently spent a night in the attic of Lane. I had no intention to occupy myself until the hiss and click of the radiators echoed through the floorboards, and Mr. Luke Tobin’s expert lesson on Salinger’s opus, The Catcher in the Rye, commenced promptly at 8:01am. I had crept in while Art was patrolling the dorms and ascended the creaky stairs to the book-filled, dust-coated “oasis” (HA! get it? Tell me if you do) that is the seldom utilized Lane attic. Frankly, I find it unused to its potential. The dimly lit haven of costumes and storage boxes, and the lone-standing overhead projector providing a constant reminder of ages past astounds me. I find myself at home in the constant musk it provides. I lost track of time rummaging through the boxes, trying on a Cheshire Cat costume while skimming old Shakespeare paperbacks, erupting with the scent that only aged, sage pages can provide. I eventually slipped into a deep slumber, and dreamt I was spending the night in the cemetery, which I frequent for inspiration and charcoal headstone rubbings. I awoke with a start, to hear Mr. Luke Tobin’s voice reverberating through the floorboards, illuminating the significance of the ducks in Central Park. That’s when I realized I was late for Ms. Katerina Farr-Williams’ IB Math class. I wore the costume."

5. Describe your dream date in three words.

"Pomeranian. Pomade. Pool-side."