Ask Me Anything! "Restless Roommate"

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Dear Penelope--

I’m in my first few months at New Hampton and my roommate and I don’t get along. I know I haven’t really known her for an appropriate duration to fully understand her makeup, both as a person and on her face, but there’s just something about her that makes my eyes twitch and my hands form into soft, moisturized fists at my sides. Maybe it’s the way she wears her hair in that side-clipped bob that went out of style as of May 2001, according to Vogue. Or maybe it’s how she’s always talking on the phone, repeating the same arguments over and over with her mom, boyfriend(s?) and dogs, always the exact. same. argument. She’s used the word “crunch” 762 times in the past 5 weeks, I’ve kept track. Perhaps it’s how her desk sits so that she’s always facing towards my bed, and it feels like she’s always staring at me in my sleep when she’s unfailingly at her desk until 2 am, taking what I will admit to be very diligent notes. It’s kind of unsettling, don’t you think? Before I bring this very important issue to my dorm parent’s attention, I wanted to get your opinion of what you thought. As of now, I’ve taken to doing my homework in the stuffy, cramped, citrus-scented supply closet at the end of the hall, so I would appreciate your swift reply.


Much gratitude,

Restless Roommate

Dear RR,

Your plight is one that many face in boarding school life. It is not unusual for two people who spend so much time together and live together to have their occasional mild disagreement. She may not be aware of the annoyances she unintentionally, or, with regards to the notes, incredibly intentionally poses to you. If we are thinking of the same person, I agree about the hair. 2001 was 16 years ago, a large amount of the student body hasn’t even been alive that long. I think you should go about this problem in a similar manner to how I confronted my own roommate issue: admittedly, I have a single, so my roommate was myself, and I only saw her when I gazed, deep in pensive meditation, towards my mirror. She also appeared in the darkened screen in between Netflix episodes, and we had the exact same bathroom schedule. You and I had the same problem, as every time I looked at her, she was staring back at me! It shook me to my roots. I took it up with her as nicely as I could and aired my grievances for what seemed to me to be only 45 seconds, but as I returned to my laptop (to of course check the Literati blog) I found that 2 hours had passed. It turned out, we both felt the exact same way! So, from that, I believe that two people can fix any problems between them, if they only talk it out, in front of a mirror. If her FaceTime feuds extending deep into your beauty rest bother you, call her out on it. HA! Get it? Tell me if you do. As for the desk orientation, take it as a compliment, nothing like participating in an involuntary sleep study. We have all been there!


Much love,