2018 Bad Love Poetry Winners

Hand Letter.png

First Place Winner

Momma’s Boy

By Anonymous

You’re as sweet as candy,

I want to eat you up,

My momma doesn’t let me eat candy.

I was thinking about you last night,

It was a great dream,

My momma woke me up before anything happened.

I bought you roses,

I know they’re your favourite,

But mommas allergic,

I threw them out.

I love walking up to you at the end of the school day,

I’m always so anxious to talk to you,

But then I need to go before saying anything,

Momma pulled up in her minivan.

Gotta go!

I always look forward to our 11 o’clock FaceTime,

Too bad I don’t have any Apple products.

Our date last night was all I could ask for,

Candle light dinner,

Abiance music,

And momma.

Second Place Winner

Sunshine & Corduroy

By Sam Rivet

Dreaming of my most awful, terrible day

filled with kid pix, velcro and modeling clay

The first day of elementary school I spotted a boy

He wore a baseball cap, soccer jersey and from the waist down, corduroy 

His blond locks could only be described as sunshine 

And his smile rocketed me to cloud nine

He said his favorite candy was a peppermint patty

And his full name was Mathew but he went by Matty

However I only called him the light of my life

So at recess I picked him some purple loosestrife 

he threw the bouquet on the wood chips

the crunchy petals quickly left his finger tips 

Hundreds of bees stung my eyes

As he ran away so did the butterflies

Not much has changed since that disaster

Except now I manage to get rid of guys faster

Third Place Winner


By BelugaBoy445

soft rounded skin shines in the light,

you’re a beluga whale.

Smacks me out of the water,

with your beluga tail.

I don’t hit you back, 

you’re beluga frail,

You’re the perfect size,

check the beluga scale,

is that a valentine’s card for me? 

it came in the beluga mail.

this shirt? oh it’s nothing,

i got it on beluga sale.

I made us dinner,

It’s beluga kale.

that wind was chilly,

it must have been a beluga gale

i’m not 18 

so you’re going to beluga jail

You’re not getting any

Beluga bail 

goodbye my 

beluga whale

Literati Staff